Prayer

I do not want to talk to you
Not today
Not here
Not now

The little boy
Plays in my mind
Dreams of him
In his robes
Living the life
Of a monk

I can see
I can still see
The pale skin colour
The calm in his eyes
The magic of his presence

He left
With the alms
Some food, some fruit
As daylight played its usual tricks
Filling my world
With such an aching void

To bring him near
To hold him close
To mother, to pray

Little boy,
Staring out the window
I realised
This is the only prayer I can offer
The songs in my head
Are long gone

In you I see
Such things as truth and beauty
Peace and love
The ache inside
Is now turbulent
Swallowing me bit by bit

To look into your peaceful eyes
To watch you look at the world
With boyish wonder
To see your shy smile
To watch your little fingers
Hold your prayer beads

I am going away today
Where to, I do not know
I do not want anyone to find me
Not today
Not you
Not now