Vertigo

You have a three thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. But you donot have the picture. You sometimes know what shapes fit where. Most of the times, you don't.
There is a certain appeal though. You are attracted to something so much. It feels just right. But you donot want it.

"What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves."
Milan Kundera, The unbearable lightness of being.

Is he then saying that one runs away from what one lusts after the most? That, if you love someone, it is a form of vertigo that whispers in your ear that you cannot belong?
Or, does Kundera refer to death? Death. In all its forms. Failure. Shame. Ridicule. Defeat. Mortality. The fear not of falling, but that of never being able to rise again.
A learned friend of mine said that a Buddhist saying might answer my questions. "He who has seen his own death has reached his peace "
But no, it hasn't. Sometimes knowing or understanding is just not good enough. It just is not good enough sometimes.