Monday, July 03, 2006

Greetings

In many business models and offices and classrooms around the world, it is considered as the epitome of a hard worker. There also is a poem built around it, I remember reading it sometime in junior school. It is about an ant and a cricket. The cricket spends the summer singing its lungs out, while the ant works on and on. Come winter and the ant has food but the cricket goes hungry.
Thus it is that many a tale and song sung about the ant teaches us so many lessons. I found one this morning, thanks to a sting on my leg that woke me up with the rudest of shocks. There was the culprit, walking about like my sheets were but its fine summer ground.
This little squirt needs to be taught a lesson. One that he will not forget, if he lives through it at all.
So I caught the little guy and put it in the glass that was at the foot of my bed, and put the lid on it. The little guy went walking up and down in a spiral like somehow if its little feet tread all over, the lid will magically open itself into freedom. I decided that it deserved a feast before its fate came knocking. In went a dribble of honey. But the wise one around whom business models are built, did not have anyone to share it with. Knock out destiny, yeah?
So when I thought Beaver had a fill (that’s what I began to call him, all little beings surely deserve names) of yummy Himalayan honey, I took it to my favourite haunt- the store room, and put it on the spiders web there. It must have screeched in its Beaver like way, for these are sounds my ears don’t hear. All stuck in the web, not knowing where to go. Along came the spider and sat down beside him and ate Mister Beaver away.
But then something told me that the busy guy may not have really died, and must be doing the rounds inside the spider’s stomach.
So this time the spider with the ant inside in went into my glass. What would be a fitting ending to a spider that has swallowed the ant that gave me a rude shock on a fine morning?
Then a scheme came floating into the otherwise vacant thoughts in my head. Should I just crush him under my feet? One giant stomp and squish will end all the misery.
I instead chose something more elaborate.
Out came a board and some drawing pins. The spider went on it, and the little spindly wicked legs did not really get pinned to the board, I simply cut them off with a pair of scissors and pinned the rest of the soggy being on the board.
The perfectionist in me begged for elaboration.
So I got out a little candle- the ones that go on birthday cakes and a little piece off the top, with the wick in it. This I placed on the spider.
I blew out the candle and sang Happy Birthday Kafka.

27 Comments:

At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Swathi Sambhani aka Chimera said...

loved the diabolic element in it ...n yeah wikipedia helped me in noting Kafka's b'day.

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the diabolic element is amazing.. but honestly, i'm missing something... i dont know what.. a li'l help might be useful..

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Shubhodeep said...

just finished reading metamorphosis. cant stop admiring the man's work!!! nice post!!
come over to my blog sometime!!!

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just hope you dint actually do all that. Its just wrong to hurt other creatures, even if they hurt you in the first place.

viper

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

hi Swathi,
why thankyou! I have been waiting for his bday and writing something gross/ shocking for a while now!
Kishore,
if you mean in terms of content, lets just briefly say that I squashed some bugs, in fiction. And sang an unrelated song since it reminded me of what Kafka does to my brain.
Shubhodeep,
Yeah, he had that effect on me when I read him first. will drop in soon enough!
Yo Viper! Course I didn't. Can't squash mosquitoes, bugs is like promotion!
The bugs are happy to know that you care. yay for viper!

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prat,
Your comment and a bit of wikipedia'ing helped me put everything together.. now, I can admire ur piece realy well.. :)

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Yipee for Kishore and Wikipedia!

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Inkblot said...

oh oh oh- wicked! must read him again!

 
At Monday, 03 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

you know, inky, i wanted to add that the spider gets eaten by a frog and i dissect the frog and dance around in a room with its blood dripping all over the place, holding it up to the skies. All this by candle light and white sweeping curtains.
Now, THAT is wicked, yes?

 
At Tuesday, 04 July, 2006, Blogger Sunny said...

Ugh! What made ya think up all this?

Okay... the rest of the comments suggest there's something this has to do with The Metamorphosis... but still... ugh!

 
At Tuesday, 04 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Hey Sunny,
general feelings of destructive juvenile delinquency, shall we say? I am glad I creeped you out though :D

 
At Tuesday, 04 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

>> the spider gets eaten by a frog .... Now, THAT is wicked, yes?

Know the story of that kind knight who slit the throat of a little kid and got angry because the blood spilt on his new shoe?

 
At Tuesday, 04 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Kishore,
Nope. When are you going to tell me ;) ??

 
At Tuesday, 04 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soon enough! :)

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Kishore,
In the words of Dr. Fraiser Krane, "I'm listening".

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prat,
In the words of Brutus,

"Be patient till the last. Romans, countrymen, and lovers.. Hear me for my cause, and be silent that you may hear..."

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Kishore,
Et Tu, Brute??
And in the words of Alexander Dumas Himself:
"All human wisdom is summed up in two words- wait and hope".
I am condemned to such wisdom :D

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prat,
And in the words of John Milton,
"They also serve who only stand and wait".. :)

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha.. literary liberty. Thank goodness.

have had those moments myself.

Like blowing the hell out of the car ahead (driven by a nutcase lady at 20 KPH and talking ona cellphone) using a bazooka. Cant do that can I ?

Actually such thoughts are good. Did you know dreams of death and destruction indicate long and healthy life ?

viper

 
At Wednesday, 05 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kafka was a sado-turgid freak.
Blue teddy likes 'sado-turgid'ism. Its the only true surviving revolution.

... will call prat poppy from now on.
Blue teddy calls all juicy things poppy.

Sure u can Viper ... u gotta go like iii uhhhm blacked out.Then yell incoming and dive with hands on head.

quoting rimbaud ...


Now, only recently, being on the point of giving my last squawk, I thought of looking for the key to the ancient feast where I might find my appetite again.

Charity is that key. -- This inspiration proves that I have dreamed!

"You will always be a hyena..." etc., protests the devil who crowned me with such pleasant poppies. "Attain death with all your appetites, your selfishness and all the capital sins!"

Ah! I'm fed up: -- But, dear Satan, a less fiery eye I beg you! And while awaiting a few small infamies in arrears, you who love the absence of the instructive or descriptive faculty in a writer, for you let me tear out these few, hideous pages from my notebook of one of the damned.

-A Season in Hell

 
At Wednesday, 12 July, 2006, Blogger d said...

hello, just saw your comment on my blog and followed here. I shall thank you muchly for your kind words. :)

 
At Thursday, 13 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

psychopaths and serial killers have been known to have done similar things before they discovered human blood.

truly sickening. the callous glee, and then the bad poetry.

like the mothman in silence of the lambs.

tell us that you really didn't cut off the spider's legs.

 
At Thursday, 13 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

Kishore,
In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
Viper,
Yes, there was something I heard to that effect, about how it signifies something new, like a begininng.
Blue teddy,
it is always so lovely to have you over, comments et all!
Rimbaud does what jetplanes do to trees...goes over my head!
But will read that a million times, for sure.
d,
nice to have you over.
Anon,
Somehow can't tell the difference between reality and virtual reality...and are you who I think you are?

 
At Thursday, 13 July, 2006, Blogger S said...

hey... Thanks, but i've kinda stopped noticing it... And snicker to the (fictional, I hope) cruelty to small animals.

 
At Thursday, 13 July, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the words of Wellington Wimpy,
"Lets have a generous potion, for which I will gladly pay tuesday"

 
At Friday, 14 July, 2006, Blogger Prat said...

S,
that is good news. they come down, eventually.
Kishore,
In the words of Socrates, Knowledge is the food of the soul. I am hungry. Bring out the story, will you?

 
At Sunday, 16 July, 2006, Blogger H said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

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